mercoledì 14 marzo 2007

World gone nuts!

Fellow aliens!
This morning, whilst gracing the roads with my presence, I saw one accident and two fights... within a few seconds of leaving my house, I saw a rear ender which ended with two well dressed elderly gentlemen threatening to kill each others families. Then, within the blink of an eyelid, I saw a man take a swing at another who had eligibly cut him up! What's up.... if you can't take the stresses of the road DON'T drive: take a bus!
Also..Red noses have been banned from the BBC's celebrity show Comic Relief's 'Fame Academy', because they are a fire hazard.
The foam noses, sold to raise money for the cause, have been deemed a health and safety risk. WHAT... has the world gone nuts??
Oh well that's all for the mo'
See ya'
Questa mattina, mentre la strada tollerava la mia presenza, ho visto un'incidente ed una lite... alcuni secondi dopo aver lasciato casa mia, ho visto due signori anziani vestiti per bene che minacciavano di uccidere le rispettive famiglie. Poi, dopo un battito di ciglia, ho visto un uomo che provava a dare un pugno ad un altro uomo che gli aveva tagliato la strada! Ma cosa succede... se la strada è troppo stressante NON guidate: prendete un pullman! Inoltre i nasi rossi da pagliaccio sono stati viatati da un celebre programma della BBC perché sono stati classificati a rischio d'incendio. I nasi di gomma piuma, venduti anche solo per beneficienza, sono stati quindi ritenuti a rischio sanitario e di sicurezza. CHE COSA… il mondo è impazzito?? Bhè... Questo è tutto per ora. Ci vediamo

15 commenti:

Anonimo ha detto...

Do angry drivers wear red noses?

Kev Cruz ha detto...

It should be made compulsary!

Anonimo ha detto...

Fra poco vieteranno anche il circo perchè ci sono troppi pagliacci...

Anonimo ha detto...

Senza andare al circo, ne conosco talmente tanti di pagliacci... ma li fanno circolare tranquillamente senza il vigile del fuoco accanto...

Kev Cruz ha detto...

why is skydiving better than sex......

Even men can do it six times a day and still want more.

Finding partners for skydiving is much easier - physical attraction is not as important.

Skydiving is much safer; no diseases and no kids.

Finding good partners is much easier - everyone knows in advance how good a skydiver you are.

It's socially acceptable to do 4-ways, 8-ways, 16-ways...

Everyone involved is usually satisfied or not with a skydive.

You can ask skydivers if they've put on weight without offending them.

You rarely get told by your partner(s) that they've had enough.

Solo skydiving is not embarrassing.

Everyone is ugly in freefall.

Anonimo ha detto...

what's brown and sticky ?

a stick

Anonimo ha detto...

A man boarded a plane at Sydney airport and, taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the aircraft.
He realized she was heading straight towards his seat, and bingo! She
took the seat right beside him
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out: "Business trip or
holiday?" She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in the United States."
The man swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your
business role at this convention?"
Lecturer", she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the
popular myths about sexuality."Really?" he smiled, "What myths are those?"
Well", she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men
are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish."
Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry", she
said. I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know
your name!"

"Tonto", the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos but all my friends call me

Kev Cruz ha detto...

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Lean beef

Kev Cruz ha detto...

A skeleton walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "What'll you have?"
The skeleton says, "A beer and a mop."

Anonimo ha detto...

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall.


Anonimo ha detto...

The *Realm* is going VIP. send your addy and I will add you.


Kev Cruz ha detto...

Oh well..seeing as this has become comedy central...all in a good cause for Comic Relief of course!

bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm just tellin' my friend how to spella 'Mississippi'."

Anonimo ha detto...

Io vado a piedi ed è bellissimo vedere come tutti s'ink***no fra loro....
meno auto, meno smog....
Andate tutti a .... PIEDI!!!

tina ha detto...

wow.. one accident and two fights? sounds like a helluva day.

Kev Cruz ha detto...

Hi Tina
Just a normal day on Milans roads!